A conversation with Rachel

*This was from October 6, 2011.  Somehow it was saved as a draft and never published but it was so cute, I had to include it.*

A few nights ago, Rachel looked at me during dinner and said, "When are we going to have a baby?"

I looked at her, trying to decide what she meant. She clarified, before I could offer a pat answer, "I mean a REAL baby, for us."

Me: "I don't think we'll have anymore babies, Rachel." (Notice I'm careful to not say anything absolutely - there are some things I don't have as much control over as I think I do)

Rachel: "Why not?"

Me: "We already had 4 babies."

Rachel: "Where? Where are 4 babies?"

Me (pointing around the table): "I had Brendan, Tori, you and Owen. You were all my babies."

Rachel: "Wow! That's a lot of babies. I don't think we need anymore."

It was a nice way to end the conversation. :)

Learning Styles

As 2014 comes to a close, I've been reflecting on our school year and what has worked and what I'd like to do differently.  I've appreciated our time unschooling - it has helped me see how each of my kids learn and has helped them discover what they're really interested in.  We have talked about future plans and how to attain those goals.  Brendan has realized he does not like to watch lessons on video - he wants to see an example and get to work and then find me if he needs help.  Tori likes to see lessons on video. 

It may be that I haven't given unschooling enough time but we're ready to go back to working through a regular curriculum.  I've always tended to be more relaxed about our school work and I want to stay flexible but also want to plan a daily routine. 

Looking forward to 2015! 

Our unschooling journey so far

It's almost mid-October so we've been doing this for about 6 weeks.  We took a couple weeks off for a family vacation but really, that was tremendously educational in itself.  We drove through 5 states and spent a week at Disney.  We visited an aquarium and learned about marine animals and also spent an afternoon at the ocean.  We talked about geography, climate, weather, money and many other topics. 

Our days at home have settled into somewhat of a routine.  There is no video games or tv before 3.  The kids read or work on their homework for their Pioneers classes.  They play games on the ipad or DS, which is a video game but since it's not on the big tv, I'm okay with that.  And really, they get tired of that fairly quickly.  I have thought about saying that they can only play educational games on the ipad during the day but then I'd have to monitor that and also decide what constitutes an educational game.  There is logic and cause and effect in any game and those are good things to learn.  So I have decided to let them choose what they play for now.  They also play outside and play cars, legos, house, etc.  There have been very few times that someone said they were bored.  And if I offer to play a game with them, they always say yes. 

The first part of our school year was really about trying this out and seeing how we liked it and also getting ready for vacation.  Now we've tried this out and discovered it seems to work really well for us and now vacation is over.  I'm ready to add in some field trips and science experiments and see what we can discover together. 

An analogy

Today was somewhat frustrating for many reasons.  As I was thinking about those reasons and what was going on with my kids, I had an epiphany.  Of course, this was several hours ago and I didn't write it down so I will try to remember it as best I can.

Before, I was always telling the kids where they needed to go and all the specifics about how to get there - what to take, how to take it, etc.  I didn't really think through what they would do once they arrived, but I was going to make sure they got there.  Even if they weren't really sure how they got there.  The end goal was high school graduation and entrance to college.  After that, the rest was up to them. 

Last spring, I started rethinking this approach and decided to step back and try to figure out first where they wanted to go.  Instead of saying, "You need to take math so you can go to college", I ask, "What do you think you'll want to do?  Do you want to go to college?"  Tori has realized that she wants to learn math better and she is figuring out how to do that and asking for my help.  Instead of dragging her down the math road, with my arms and shoulders aching and my back sore, I am walking along beside her, sometimes slowing down and sometimes running a little.  But she's setting the pace. 

Today, I was frustrated because Brendan's pace is not matching my own.  I have to learn to let go of that control.  He has decided that yes, he wants to go to college and he is taking an active role in getting there.  He's new at being in control so sometimes he doesn't make the best decisions.  But if I just nag or scold all the time, he'll still rely on me to push and drag him there.  It will be so much better for both of us if I let him decide where he wants to go and then be ready to help him get there. I want him to arrive at his destination with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.  I don't want him to get there and say, "now what?"  He is my rule-following, obedient, responsible first-born.  And I really changed the rules this year.  It's going to take awhile to figure this out.  We'll get there.

Day 6

Today was more of a creative kind of day.  The girls were using the ipad to make a movie this morning.  Brendan was still sleeping and Owen couldn't think of anything to do because he was fixated on not being able to help the girls.  I asked if he wanted to fill out a math chart and his enthusiasm was quite humorous.  I gave him a blank multiplication chart and explained that it was counting by numbers.  He caught on very quickly and filled out half of it. 

I was gone for part of the day to run some errands so the kids had more of a break in the middle of the day.  When I was home, they worked on Pioneers homework and then the girls filled out a multiplication chart while Brendan did his science test.  Tori decided she wants me to give her math sheets to work on this year instead of using a book.  This is exciting stuff, people.  She is taking charge of her education and figuring out what she wants it to look like and what she needs to work on.  Remember, this girl hates math.  But she just asked me to give her math sheets to work on.  I have said nothing to her about needing to do math.  Nothing. 

Brendan continues to do his work without me asking about it.  I *did* ask yesterday if he needed any help with anything from Pioneers.  I'm trying to figure out how I can stay involved and informed without taking over.  And also how to get him to think about his assignments without nagging.  He is supposed to take quite a few pictures for his photography class and hasn't taken any yet so we'll see how this goes. 

Rachel enjoyed working on the multiplication chart but was starting to get discouraged when she got into the higher numbers.  I had told her to only fill out what she knew and to stop when she didn't know it but she really wants to finish it. 

I am making an effort to be home more, which is slightly more difficult this week because we will be leaving for vacation soon and there are things that need to be done.  For the most part, my goal is to be home and to be present with them - making suggestions, asking if they want to play games, reading books with them, finding good videos on-line or good tv shows to watch to help us learn. 

Day 5

Tori was gone most of the day.  She babysat from 7:30 until 3:30 and then went to a friend's house at 5:30 and is spending the night there.  She earned $25 and asked if she could take an extra horseback riding lesson next week.  Working a job and using the money to further her education on something she loves - lots of lessons right there.

Brendan did his science yesterday.  Today he was working on finishing up some lab reports and asked me to correct his study guide.  His study guide was the neatest writing I have ever seen from him.  He seems to really be making an effort this year.  You know how many times I have asked him about this class?  Not once. 

Owen and Rachel played the geography game today but with their made-up rules.  It resembled something more like Risk.  They rolled the dice and whoever rolled a higher number got to take over a country.  The game boards for this game are just pieces of the map with numbers on each country.  But Owen knows most of the countries and is showing Rachel when they play.  They also both worked on their sign language flash cards and then did some pages from their Michigan History worksheets from Pioneers.

We went to the library and checked out some books.  Rachel bought a diary at the store and started writing journal entries in it.  She is most excited that it has a lock so it's private.  :)  Owen knows that 48" is 4 ft.  Brendan came up with a haiku to describe my feelings about coffee:  "I love my coffee.  The creamer makes it better.  It wakes me each day."  And then he came up with another one later about popsicles. 

Tonight, Rachel read 3 books to me and we talked about the different words that she didn't understand.  She really makes an effort to understand what she is reading. 

I am still amazed that this is working. 

Day 4

The girls have been having horseback riding lessons on Thursday mornings.  Thursday was always a hard day last year because we were all exhausted from Pioneers and Awana on Wednesdays.  So this seems to be working out okay - it's more of a low-key morning and the girls are riding horses and I run errands or have some quiet time while the boys stay home and have some quiet time.  They aren't allowed to play video games or watch tv so they can read or play regular games.  When we got home today, the boys were playing a geography game. 

I don't know if much actual "school" took place today.  Brendan might have done his science - I really don't know.  I ran on the treadmill after lunch and then took a shower and I know his books were on the couch at one point. 

Tori took Teaching Textbooks 6 to Pioneers to work on it in study hall and said she needs to practice multiplication.  This is huge.  This is her deciding that she wants to be better at math and identifying what is holding her back.  We're going to play some card and dice games and look at the multiplication chart.  She's reading Mockingjay (book 3 of the Hunger Games series) and discussing it with me occasionally.  She is loving her photography class.  Their assignment this week is to take action shots so she was going to go to the boys drop-in basketball game tonight until she was invited to a football game tomorrow night and decided to take pictures there instead. 

We started reading The Child's Story Bible at lunch every day.  I have been wanting to do a devotional with them but didn't want to make everyone get up at a certain time.  But we're usually all home for lunch so this should work out well. 

The neighbor kids only had a half day of school today and even though it was chilly, it was still nice out so I told the kids they could play. 

Tori talked to the other girl at horseback riding and she said that whenever she gets extra money, she pay for an extra lesson.  Now Tori has a goal and knows what she wants to do with her babysitting money. 

When I first sat down to write about today, I couldn't think of anything educational that had happened today.  There really is so much that just happens all around us, sometimes when we don't even realize it. 

Day 3

I shared how our first couple days went on facebook and wanted to keep that trend going but felt like I wanted to add more.  And I remembered I had this blog that hadn't been getting used much.  This seems like a great spot to write down how our year is going.

Day 3 - Tuesday.  We missed a couple days because the kids were camping with their grandpa and grandma.  I wasn't with them so I can't say what they learned during that time but I do know that yahtzee was played and they were able to be out in nature.  So today, they all had work to do for Pioneers. 

Last year, Brendan and Tori both had a writing class, science class, history or geography and then a fun class.  It was overwhelming at times.  This year I told them they could pick their own classes.  Tori chose sign language, sewing/hand crafts, and digital photography.  Brendan chose physical science, intro to computers, and digital photography.  It feels like a good balance for them.  There is some homework but nothing too intense. 

All 4 kids have requested math this year.  I had been hoping to not use any set curriculum so I'm not exactly sure how to handle this.  I've realized that Brendan needs a curriculum for geometry so I'm looking into the best one for him.  He tried an on-line one today and that was frustrating - for both of us.  He didn't understand some of the questions and when I tried to help, it was hard to go back through the pages he had read on-line.  I think we'd both feel more comfortable with a book.  This is good to know. 

Tori liked the math she was doing last year - Teaching Textbooks 6.  She stopped at lesson 36 because I told her she could - it was in May and I was tired of forcing it.  I had been encouraging her to do 2 lessons a day so she could finish the whole book by the middle of July.  I know that pressure frustrated her.  I'm going to pull it back out and let her work on it on her own pace.  Math is not her strongest area right now but I want to focus on her attitude about it first.  I think if she feels more confident, she'll become more sure of herself and it will come easier and make more sense.  Her brain just closes right up whenever there is any uncertainty.  Teaching Textbooks doesn't always have the best reviews and this has caused me some concern.  I've wondered if I should switch to Saxon or Christian Light.  But then I remember that this isn't a race and I need to think about her and what's best for her.  I think I will look for worksheets to supplement the Teaching Textbooks so she has more practice but this is a good start.

Rachel and Owen - I have debated about a math curriculum for them and keep going back and forth.  I could do Christian Light - I know it's a good quality math program.  But again, I don't want to feel like we "should" do a lesson every day.  So for now, I think I will play math games with them and do math exercises on the white board.  I'll start out by asking them during the day if they want to play and maybe they'll start asking me after awhile. 

If it wasn't for the constant 2nd-guessing myself, this would be a piece of cake. 

Day 2

Day 2 of our schooling adventure this year. Horseback riding lessons for the girls, recycling with Owen (and doing some math lessons while we're doing it - placement values were on his brain today), Brendan doing science for Pioneers (on his own - didn't say a word), Rachel and Owen doing sign language flash cards for Pioneers (again, on their own), Tori practicing her sign language for Pioneers ...(yup, on her own), Tori and Brendan both requesting a regular math class for the year (even tho they complain, they still want it!), Owen and Brendan playing a geography game and asking if they can take it with them this weekend when they visit their grandparents. None of this was my idea - none. I am here to help and provide boundaries and ideas when needed. This is going spectacularly well.

 

This was another facebook post.  We had Pioneers on Wednesday and this was Thursday.  The thing that's throwing me is the whole math thing.  All the kids have said they want to do math.  I am torn.  I want them to know math, obviously, but don't want to become a slave to a curriculum and feel like we "should" do a lesson every day.  (There's that darn "should" syndrome).  The day went really well and I can see where learning just naturally occurs in so many areas.  Just not sure what to do about math. 

Day 1 of our school year

It's the first day of school for many and I'm *finally* figuring out our plan for our school year. Thanks to all who have prayed and encouraged me! We will be doing a mix of unschooling and relaxed schooling. I want more free time and less sit down paperwork. More field trip and more talking "with" my kids instead of "at" my kids. We'll get there. We might follow a math curriculum but we might not. Still working out some details. A weight has been lifted. I may not know exactly what this year will look like but I'm looking forward to spending it with my kids.

This was my facebook post a few days ago.  After trying to decide all summer how much freedom I wanted to give my kids, I woke up that Tuesday and knew there would not be video games and tv shows on all day.  And I knew that would be my kids preferences, especially with friends in school.  I know myself and I know that I am not the type of person who will constantly suggest things for them to do either.  Occasionally, I do but it's not the norm.  And I didn't want that pressure.  I already struggle too much with the "should" syndrome. 

My goal is to see where each day takes us and see what they end up wanting to do.  I want to say yes when they ask about doing things and plan to take more field trips.  I want to play more games - some obviously educational but some that aren't so obvious. 

That day was the day before our homeschool co-op, Pioneers, started.  So the kids got their stuff organized.  We went for a haircut and shopping and made copies.  We talked about the history of the world while we were in the car.  I'd like to read The Mystery of History together and create a time line.  I played a yahtzee-style game with Owen and helped him add his score, making piles of 100.  It was a good start to the year.  Brendan requested to watch the USA basketball team play in Spain against New Zeeland.  That led to a discussion on where those countries were, which led to another discussion on the countries my father-in-law had been stationed at when he was in the war.