Then and Now

When did this transformation take place? I love looking back at pictures from the early days and trying to find glimpses of who they are now. An expression or a personality characteristic. I love this stage between baby and toddler - sweet and cuddly, wanting to be independent but not quite there yet.

All By Myself

Our family camping trip this weekend will be slightly different than originally planned. Josh found out on Tuesday that he would have to work. I was still holding out hope that things would change but he said today that even if work gets better, he still has to stay around in case something goes wrong. Now, of course, I'm hoping that he works a lot this weekend so he can at least get overtime pay if he can't go on vacation with us.

My first immediate thought was that I would cancel our reservation and have to break the news to the kids. I knew they'd be disappointed but figured they'd get over it. Then I started to consider taking the kids by myself. Josh's family will be there and I know they'll help when possible but there will still be a lot for me to do on my own. After thinking it through, I think with a little organization and prep work done ahead of time, we'll be okay. It won't be as relaxing and I'll miss him a lot but we'll be okay. I'm still really upset with his employer for making this mandatory but we'll be okay.

We used to own a camper but sold it last summer for various reasons. I had thought that maybe someday we'd go tent camping as a family and thought it would so much simpler than packing a camper full of things. Apparently, it is impossible to be prepared for every possible situation (which is what I like to do) and pack simply. I hate getting somewhere and thinking of something that would have been nice to have. I have said different times that I actually enjoy preparing for a trip more than the actual trip - it's something I'm working on. I want to enjoy the moments more. Hopefully I can enjoy lots of moments this weekend. :)

And Still More Creativity . . .

These bags were made by my cousin's wife, Julie. Aren't they awesome? She used handles from J0-Ann's instead of ribbon. I love how these ladies took a simple idea and created such works of art from it.

I'm up visiting my parents again this week. Their church is having VBS and Brendan and Tori enjoy going. Their cousins from Petoskey, Josh's sister's family, also attend and that is a big bonus for them. We're all going camping this weekend in Gaylord and then will swap kids for the following week so the kids are really looking forward to such quantity time with their cousins. They get along really well so it's fun for us as well.

I also started and finished a really good book today - I told you I had free time. :) And I'm a fast reader. It's called The Dogs of Babel and it was a great book. I got hooked early on and couldn't wait to get back into it. Excellent book. Now I'm worried that I didn't bring enough books with me. I might have to ask Josh to bring up some more for this weekend.

Creative Mind

Check these out - my Aunt Linda took the placemat bag idea and just ran with it. This is just what she's done since vacation. Meanwhile I am almost done with my laundry. I really do have free time, I just spend it on other things, like checking this blog to see if I have comments. :)

I recently read a really good book called Me, Myself and Bob, by Phil Vischer. He created Veggie Tales and this tells that whole story - how he created it, how it fell apart and what he did afterwards. I saw a video of him speaking at a conference and thought he had a really good message so when I saw this book at a garage sale (25 cents - love it!) I snatched it up and read it in a couple days. He talks about having a dream and having God fulfill that dream and then watching that dream die and making sense of it, especially when that dream was doing good things for God. I really liked his point that God wants a relationship with us first and he wants us to just walk with Him. We don't have to get so worried and caught up in what we should be doing and feel like we always have to be doing something. Micah 6:8 "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." What a great verse. It's just that simple.

Even Though You Know

I was thinking about the title of my blog, More Than It Seems, and the verse that says I will know fully even as I am fully known. There are times when I want to be fully known and then other times that I wish I could keep things hidden. There is a song by Rebecca St. James titled Psalms 139 that I love. It's a short, simple song but so powerful. One part in particular always gets me. She sings, "You search me, you know me. You see my every move. There is nothing I could ever do to hide myself from you. You know my thoughts, my fears and hurts, my weaknesses and my pride. You know what I am going through and how I feel inside. And even though you know, you will always love me. Even though you know, you'll never let me go. I don't deserve your love but you give it freely. You will always love me, even though you know."

The thought that God knows everything about me and still loves me is so unbelievable to me. When I'm in church, dressed up and singing praise songs, then it's not hard to believe that God loves me. Or when I'm having a good day with the kids then it's not far-fetched. But when I'm having a really bad attitude about something or just being selfish and really wanting my own way, He loves me then? I've noticed in my own life that it's so easy to tell my kids I love them when I'm putting them to bed and am about to get a break from the whining or crying or just parenting in general. But it's a lot harder for me to say in the midst of all that. I'm so thankful God's love is bigger than the ocean and higher than the heavens and deeper than the sea. I remember singing a song that went like that.

Paul prayed this for the church in Ephesus: "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:17-19. I want this to be my prayer, too, that I will be able to grasp this love or at least get a better idea of this love.

Photo Shoot

Tori - age 6

Rachel - age 17 months

Owen - age 17 months

Brendan - age 8

I was at my parents for a few days and my dad took some pictures of the kids for me. I can upload the photos to Sam's Club and then have prints made. I love being able to get them immediately and all at the same time. I started taking pictures myself of Rachel and Owen because the thought of going to a studio was so overwhelming. Then my dad got a really nice camera so now I let him do it when we get the chance. I love getting their natural expressions. My next goal is to get pictures of all 4 kids together and also some of Rachel and Owen together.

-pictures taken by Lee Rhodes

One Big Happy Family

Here is a picture of my mom's family on vacation. We all went to a local restaurant for their pizza buffet for one of our meals. They graciously seated us in their back room so we had it all to ourselves. I'm sure they appreciated having us contained in one room, too. The noise level was high at times. :) The food was delicious, the service was excellent and it was a nice change of pace.

I think it's pretty amazing that a group of this size (42 on the average for the week) actually gets along so well and really wants to spend a week together. Most of us don't see each other except for a couple times a year but because of our heritage, we recognize what an important thing family is.

I should also note that we're not crammed in tiny spaces together - we do recognize that having some personal space is important and perhaps vital to getting along together for a week. But being with people who genuinely care about each other helps, too. :)

-photo taken by Lee Rhodes

Why Do I Homeschool?

I am frequently asked this question and still don't have an answer ready. Ironically, it is usually asked by fellow homeschoolers, not by those who choose to not homeschool. I could speculate on why that is but will choose to not do that here. This is also usually one of the first questions I ask when I discover someone else who has decided to go this route. I'm not really looking for a new answer - just some confirmation that I'm not the only one out there crazy enough to do this.

I should clarify - I have lots of reasons why I homeschool but have a hard time articulating it to others. It's kind of like asking someone why they have kids - what answer do you give? There isn't really one main reason - it's a lot of little ones and even those sound superficial or shallow when said out loud. What it really boils down to is that I want to.

No, I don't want the responsibility of choosing my children's curriculum every year and deciding what they should learn and how. And no, I don't really want to spend every waking minute with them. I like my quiet time and time with other adults! I'm not a fan of dissecting anything or doing major projects.

But in spite of all these things that I don't want to do, my heart tells me to homeschool my kids. The idea of sending them to a brick building on a yellow bus seems so strange to me.

When Brendan was born, I had already decided that I wanted to stay home with him and be the one to take care of him. Thankfully, Josh agreed with this decision and supported me 100% - financially, emotionally, physically, any way he could. We had talked about homeschooling and the different ways it appealed to both of us, even though both of us had gone to public school. So it was kind of the plan all along but at the same time, I wondered how I would really feel when Brendan turned 5 and the big day came.

I can't begin to tell you how relieved I was to not send him to school. Why did he need to be gone from home 4 hours every morning (or now all day at most schools) to learn his abc's and numbers and how to write his name? I know at most schools they are trying to teach more at kindergarten but that is another topic. Why did he need to wait to get a drink when he was thirsty? To sit at a desk? To only go outside for a brief period of time when he was told? Why did he need that much freedom taken from him?

Every day that year, I watched him play with toys and become more independent and helpful around the house and play with his sister and learn to entertain himself and I was so thankful that he was home.

I have struggled with homeschooling - there have been different times that I have wished I could send them somewhere else. This last year was especially challenging with Rachel and Owen. When I would get them down for a nap, the last thing I wanted to do was go find Brendan and Tori and do some schoolwork.

Through this process, though, I can definitely see God working in my life. And I see fruits in their lives as well. I like that we share so many experiences together. I like that they are with their family more than friends. I like that they have more free time to read and draw and use their imagination. I like that our schedule is flexible and we can go visit family or take a vacation whenever we want. I like that I can learn more about my kids and how they think and learn and that I can give them the freedom to learn at their own pace - there is no competition or right or wrong age to learn skills.

For those who are not homeschooling, this post is not about you so don't get defensive about it. This is about me and why I am doing what I do. I'm not going to try and say what is right or wrong. I know that for me, homeschooling is right. And again, Josh agrees 100% and supports me in any way possible and I am so incredibly thankful for that.

There is more I could say but maybe it will have to wait for another time. I feel I have rambled on long enough. And there is no photo to make this more interesting! I realized today that I started this blog to share more about myself and my family. I've shared lots about my family but hadn't shared much about myself so decided to dive right in.

Perfection

Is there any other word to describe this? Whoever came up with this idea was a genius. I love s'mores. Yesterday was the perfect night for them, too. The wind calmed down and my dad got a fire going - just a small one though so we didn't have to wait too long to roast the marshmallows. Rachel and Owen were in bed so I could relax and enjoy the fire and concentrate on roasting marshmallows. They tasted so good.

I usually try anything that is supposed to taste like s'mores. I've tried the keebler cookies - very good. I got hooked on those one summer and then they stopped making them. Same with the ritz crackers - they made delicious little s'more sandwiches and then stopped. Little Debbie has one out but it's too much marshmallow. I'm not a big fan of marshmallow candy - just the real deal when it's soft and melty. I do like the S'more cereal but not as a cereal - just a yummy treat right out of the box. Yum!

-picture taken by Lee Rhodes

Water, Sand and Sun

Here are some pictures of Rachel and Owen in Lake Huron. They loved it. Owen was a little more cautious at first than I expected but after he got over the waves (I think it perplexed him that they'd come and go on their own), then he plunged right in. His favorite thing to do was fall over face first in the water so he'd splash himself. Unfortunately, a few times he was a little too deep and the water was so shocking that he took a deep breath and inhaled a big mouthful. He choked and spluttered and then did it again.

Rachel would walk into the water but not go very far unless holding someone's hand. And she did not want to fall into the water. She'd walk very carefully to avoid it. So funny how different they are.

As you can see, the water was clean and clear, except for the occasional fish head floating around (gross!). But the beach was really nice and was shallow for a long way out. They really enjoyed the time at the beach, although Rachel did protest (quite loudly) when it was time to rinse off.

We were able to reserve the same place for next year - yea! It's so nice to know the tradition can continue for another year.

-pictures taken by Lee Rhodes - thanks, dad! :)