Day 20

Sunday

I got a bit behind but that's okay - I will persevere. I will finish this task that I have begun. Not that it's hard to think of things to be thankful for - I can do that just about any minute of the day. But to take time to write them down and post them on here - that is the part that isn't easy. And I'm realizing that's true in my relationship with God, too. I can spout of things that I'm thankful for with no problems. But to actually take time and talk to God about it? To say more than a quick second prayer but to really take time to reflect and read the Bible and ponder what He's all about? A constant struggle. The contenders for my attention are not my children or my husband, although I am happy to give them my attention. The things that get in the way are books that I'd rather read instead, shows and movies that I'd rather watch, a warm, comfy bed that I'd rather lay in with my eyes closed. (I have, at times, attempted to lay in bed and close my eyes to pray but that never works out. And yet, I keep trying. )

So, today I am thankful for a spurt of energy that involved moving several storage tubs out to the garage. Including one that had been sitting in our office for a couple months. I am so good at starting projects and so very bad at finishing them. But today I finished several. And it felt so good. I love walking through the house and not tripping over things. Rachel went down to the emptied out basement and exclaimed, "Thank you, mommy, for taking out the play kitchen so I could push my baby stroller down here!" And silly me thought she'd be upset about not having the play kitchen. I didn't know it was in her way.

Also thankful for a husband who gladly carried the storage tubs out to the garage after I nicely put them in a big pile in the basement for him. Sometimes we really work well together. I can go through the stuff in the house and decide if we're keeping it and where to put it and he can take care of the piles after I've gone through them.

It was not necessarily a relaxing Sunday and yet I felt much more relaxed that evening than the afternoons where I've had a two hour nap. Thankful for that peace.

Day 19

Saturday

Today was not an easy day to feel thankful. It felt somewhat forced at first. I hate admitting that because I know I have so much to be thankful for. My day just did not go as I hoped it would. I am disappointed in myself for not getting things done. My to-do list seems very overwhelming right now. It's almost causing a bit of a panic attack when I think about all the things I need to get done and try to figure out when it will happen.

In the midst of this day that caused me to feel not-so-great, we had our family pictures taken by a friend from church, Wendi, who is part of Ordinary Miracles Photography. I saw some of the photos tonight and love them. I really looked at my kids and saw them for who they are. I like who they are. They are not perfect, I know that very well, and I love them in spite of their imperfections but I also like them. I am thankful for these photos, these captured moments. I will remember, when I look at Brendan's picture, how I thought it almost looked like a senior picture and how that feels too close for comfort some days. Tori's picture will remind me of how comfortable she is in her own skin - and I hope that lasts, although I fear the days of self-criticism will be here before too long. I will remember, when I see Rachel's shy smile, that this was the age when she was very attached to me and would run to give me a hug after each shot. (Is it okay that I hope she outgrows this? It'd be kind of awkward if she didn't.) And Owen's impish smile will remind me that this was the night we saw his model potential. He was so funny -he'd be running all over or climbing up stairs and as soon as he saw the camera on him, he'd stop and position his body just so and smile.

Sometimes the thankfulness might not come naturally and it might feel forced but I think it's okay to force it. I think that forcing it once in awhile will eventually create a habit of thankfulness. That is my hope anyways.

So much to be thankful for. (And I'll post those pics as soon as I get the cd.)

Day 18

Friday

It's Friday - need I say more? Yay for Fridays! This Friday, I am thankful for our small group. We just started meeting a couple months ago with two other couples. It's not always easy to find times to meet and we've only met 5 times so far but I have really appreciated those evenings. It's been good to read the Bible together and try to figure out what it means to follow God. It's been good to laugh together and share what has been going on in our lives. It's been good for this introvert to be able to share what I think. Definitely thankful for our small group!

Day 17

Thursday

Sometimes it's good to just have a day at home. Just to focus on our school work and house work. Today was a day like that. And it was lovely. There were snowflakes lightly falling outside and the kids were really focused on their work. I'm thankful for a day when things go smoothly. When lessons are finished and housework is accomplished and there is still time for a break in the middle of the day. So, so thankful for today.

Day 16

Wednesday

Thankful for a husband who makes popcorn just about every night and the chance to sit and enjoy it while the kids are sleeping! I love savoring the snack and drinking a cold mountain dew, knowing all my responsibilities for the day are done. It's a really great way to end a busy day. And a not-so-busy day. We love our popcorn around here.

Day 15

Tuesday

Today, I am grateful for my 4 beautiful children. Brendan is working on an assignment for his art class at Pioneers and needed pictures of our family. I found a tub of pictures from a few years ago that I had printed to put in scrapbooks (so far behind on these, I don't even want to think about it) and Tori, Brendan and I sat on my bed and looked through them. Rachel and Owen were about 1 1/2 and at such a cute age. Brendan and Tori were 6 and 8 and looked so much more childlike. I am thankful for the memories I captured on film and at the same time, a little saddened to see how much has changed in what feels like such a short time. I'm thankful that my kids like spending time with their family and I pray that it will stay that way.

Day 14

Monday

Today, I'm thankful for the chance to run! I have taken about a month off due to some hip pain. I've been seeing a physical therapist and then last week met with a sports trainer. He could see that my form was not great and was causing the problems so I met with him again today to work on that. It was not easy -lots of little things to remember - but it was so good to breathe hard and feel my leg muscles working again. I have been given the green light to start running on my own after one more session with him. So thankful for that.

Day 13

This Sunday, I'm thankful for:

- a day of sleeping in. Much appreciated after staying up way too late two nights in a row.

- a fairly uneventful trip home. I accidentally started heading back into town, thanks to my unreliable Garmin, but after a timely call from my sister, I turned back around and headed the right direction.

- a warm greeting when I arrived home. Lots of hugs and squeezes.

- hearing stories about the fun they had with their dad. I love hearing that.

Day 12

Thankful this Saturday for:

- hearing a great speaker who shared some important truths. Truths that really sunk in. Truths about attitude and how I can choose everyday how I will respond to my circumstances. Truths about lies that I choose to believe and how I can recognize those and choose to not believe those anymore.

- coffee and creamer. Sometimes it's the little things. :)

- a shopping trip and then another movie with my sister. I love spending time with her.

Day 11

Friday

I am thankful for a 3 hour road trip by myself. I love driving by myself - the chance to sing as loud as I want and listen to whatever I want to with no interruptions.

I'm thankful for a fun night with my sister. Going to a women's conference at her church for a couple hours and then staying up late and talking and watching a favorite movie together.

I'm thankful for a husband who never, not once, has made me feel guilty for leaving him with the kids and doesn't try to keep it even.

I'm thankful for the break of a weekend and the routine during the week.