The Dr Dilemma part 2

Late last night, around 11:45, Rachel woke up crying and said her mouth hurt. Oh, good. Then this morning, Owen woke up with a fever.

But since we had just been to see the dr yesterday, I didn't panic because I realized that they both have a virus and their bodies are trying to fight it off. So they were given a lot of liquids and plenty of rest.

I am thankful for their doctor. He never pushes medication, he never seems alarmed about anything and he always seems to recognize whatever is going on with my kids. I have thought about switching different times because he's 25 minutes away and my doctor (who is a family dr and would see the kids) is literally 5 blocks away. Maybe when they're older we'll switch. For now, even though I do get frustrated with the 2-3 hour chunk of time that a dr's visit consumes, it's worth it for the peace of mind.

Rachel does not seem to have it as bad as Owen did. Here's hoping they're both on the mend!

The Dr Dilemma

I used to be one of those moms who called the dr at the first sign of a fever. After 4 kids, I've learned a few things and now try to wait as long as possible before calling. Friday night, we were eating dinner and Owen started crying, saying his tongue hurt. We told him to stick it out and could see a little bump at the end of it. Oh, the poor thing had a canker sore. I tried to get him to drink milk and eat rice - anything bland that wouldn't irritate it. Of course, the pineapple was what looked good to him but certainly did not feel good.

Saturday was more of the same, except lots more crying. We were starting to lose our patience. Yes, we understood it hurt but what can we do? Saturday night, I had him stick out his tongue again and saw several canker sores on the underside. Yikes, that looks bad. Maybe this is more serious than I thought. I looked it up on-line and found out that gargling with hydrogen peroxide and water is a good cure but since toddlers don't necessarily have the correct gargling skills, you can also dab it on with a q-tip, followed by some milk of magnesia. We did that on Sunday and it seemed to be working.

Then this morning, I looked again and saw a bunch more on the sides of his tongue towards the back. This was kind of freaking me out so I called the dr's office. Apparently, sores on the tongue could mean lots of different things so I took him in. They ran a strep test, which came back negative. They took his fever and he did have a low fever. The dr explained that he had a viral infection similar to hand, foot and mouth disease but instead of a rash, he had sores on his tongue - which had some fancy name that I didn't quite catch. He told me it would probably last for a few days, it might get worse, and I could give him benadryl mixed with maalox for the mouth pain if necessary.

Tonight, I looked at his tongue before he went to bed. It looks like it's completely cleared up. I am not joking. I just have this feeling that if I wouldn't have gone to the dr's today, it'd be worse tonight. I know that's completely illogical but isn't that the way it seems to go? And I know it's good we got it checked out and it was reassuring to hear that it's just a virus but I keep thinking, "If I would have waited one more day, there would have been no reason to call." Maybe by the time they're all grown, I'll know when to wait and when to call.

Getting ready for summer fun

In May 2001, we bought a small metal swingset for Brendan. He was 1 and not able to do much on it but we knew he'd grow into it. We loved the looks of the wooden swingsets but the prices were a bit steep. This small one would work for now and we thought we would get something nicer in a few years or build one ourselves.


Fast-forward 8 years: it's now May 2009 and we have 4 kids. The old, metal swing set is falling apart and is now getting to be dangerous. We tear it down but aren't sure about buying a new one because we're trying to sell our house. We know we don't want another metal one and we'd hate to sell right after putting up a nice, wooden one. We make good use of a school playground close by and ride there often on our bikes.


The next year: May 2010 and our house hasn't sold. We decide it's time to make this house a better fit for us and get more use out of our backyard. Rachel and Owen are 3 and handle themselves quite well on swingsets. They can do the rock climbing wall and go down the slide and love to be pushed on the swings. Not even baby swings anymore, just regular swings. We see a swing set on sale at Toys R Us that is a good price and has the features we want.



It took a couple of Saturdays (and parts of some other days) but boy, was it worth it. Just look at these faces!





And there isn't a picture but my face is smiling, too. :) I love being able to send them out to play in our enclosed backyard and watching them from our kitchen window.

Calm, cool and collected

. . . does not often describe me. I so admire the moms I see who speak calmly and who never seem to lose their cool. I want to be like that. I have made an effort but all too often, I let my emotions take control and I end up carrying on in a ridiculous manner, usually about something that wasn't even important.

I recently read something on another blog that I think I need to re-read often.

"If a child has done wrong, a child needs talking to; BUT, NO parent ought to talk to a child while that parent is unable to talk in a natural tone of voice, and with carefully measured words. . . .If a parent is tempted to speak rapidly, multiply words, or show an excited state of feeling, the parents first duty is to gain entire self-control." From Lou Priolo's book, The Heart of Anger.

Wow. Just wow. I cannot even begin to count how many times a day I show an excited state of feeling when I talk to my kids and it's usually not a good feeling. I get frustrated very easily and don't take the time to get control before I speak. And one of the things that upsets me the most with Brendan is how quickly he gets upset. Oh, boy.

Another funny thing - I have this book. I just haven't read it yet. And I've had it for four years.

It's time to do some serious reading and praying. And hope it's not too late to be a better example to some young ones in my home.

Seeing the light . . .

We are on the home stretch of our school year and it feels great! We're on track with where I wanted to be and I am ready to finish strong. Around the end of January, I started feeling sluggish but we plodded through. I started getting worried that we'd end up slacking off and we'd either start next year behind or have to work during the summer to catch up.

But then we got some warm, spring days and all of a sudden, I started counting the weeks left and it didn't seem that far off! We started a new writing book, which I absolutely love, and have a good routine in place. It feels so good to actually feel like I know what I'm doing now and feel fairly confident with what the kids are learning.

I have always had a more relaxed approach to schooling. I didn't think the kids needed to sit for long periods of time and had no desire to give them busy work to do just to fill up their day. I am also big into the basics - reading and math. We do history and science but I'm not as concerned about that information sticking. I want them to become familiar with ideas and names and concepts without necessarily memorizing anything at this age.

Last year I started to become concerned that maybe my relaxed approach was a nicer way of saying lazy. I didn't want to be lazy with their education. So I made it a goal to be more consistent with school and to finish what we started. We were close. We didn't technically finish the curriculum but that was partly because we added some new books in January. My thought was that we'd finish them throughout the summer but I wasn't disciplined enough to do that. It's not just the kids that need a break from school - I need a break from being a teacher sometimes, too. It still ended up to be a good year for all of us.

This year has gone even better. I have more defined goals for the kids. We're all more comfortable with the work we're doing and the routine we have. Brendan and Tori know what is expected of them every day and this causes less complaining - in theory anyways. Some days are better than others. I know myself better as a teacher. Overall, we're in a very good place in our homeschooling journey and I'm so glad we've stuck with it.

What was that again?

Here is a conversation from this morning:

Rachel: Where we going?
Me: To church
Owen: Why to church?
Me: Because we want to.
Rachel: Why going to church?
Me: Because we want to.

Later, another conversation:

Owen: Is it dark out?
Me: No, it's light out.
Rachel: Is it dark out?
Me: No, it's light out.
Owen: Is it lunch time?
Me: Yes, it's lunch.
Rachel: Is it lunch time?
Me: Yes, it's lunch.

When I talk about saying the same things all day long or feeling like I'm losing my mind, I'm not exaggerating all that much.

Hahaha!

Yup, that's me laughing. Because really, what else can you do? We don't have control in life over much, except how we respond to what happens.

Last April, we became debt free except our mortgage. And it felt awesome. For 2 months. Then we discovered our air conditioner in our van didn't work. And of course, you don't discover something like this until it's hot and you need the air conditioning to work so that was not a pleasant trip. The cost to repair it was more than the value of the van. And they weren't done estimating the final cost yet. And they didn't know if it would mess up anything else in the process.

Now, we had two choices. I suppose we actually had three, but keeping a van with no ac was not a choice we considered. So our two choices were to take out a loan or find something that we could pay cash for. We had some cash saved up but not a huge amount.

I adore Dave Ramsey and agree with much of what he says but this is one area we have trouble with. He would say to pay cash and drive around something that is less than pretty while we save up more cash and then trade it in for a better vehicle. I'm not saying that wouldn't work but we don't like worrying about vehicles or dealing with repairs. I'm home with 4 children - I like to know there is a reliable vehicle in my garage for those days that we just need a change of scenery.

So, we went with a loan. We were able to buy a 2007 van with a dvd player and the extra st0w-n-go seating and we love it. We paid off the loan last August and were able to once again say, we're debt free!

And then last week, Josh came home and said the truck was making a horrible sound. His truck is a 95 Chevy that we bought in 98. He had taken it in a few weeks before and was told it needed about $1000 worth of repairs. We were holding off on those because we had just spent $1400 on it last December. With this new noise, the estimated repair was $400 . . . or a new engine rebuild. We had been looking ahead and planned to purchase a new truck sometime in the near future because our current one was an extended cab with only 2 doors and it was not very family-friendly. We all fit, but just barely, and it resembled a clown car watching us all get out. Just when you thought we must be all out because there was no way one more person could be in there, out popped another one. :)

So, as I was saying, we had planned to purchase another truck next year sometime after we had saved up cash. But now we were looking at $1400 in repairs, at least. To a 15-year-old truck that didn't fit us that well and that we didn't really want anymore.

Okay, we give up!

We went shopping Monday night to look at some different trucks and happened to find a 2007 quad cab (4 doors!) with only 17,000 miles! Now that we've accepted that we'll have another loan, I'm excited about this. It would have been nice if we could have had more cash saved up so we could continue to say we're debt-free but that's okay. We'll pay it off as soon as we can and in the meantime, I will love opening the back door for the kids to climb in.

Write those goals down!

I have heard that said so many times - write down your goals. Why don't I do this? I love to plan and think about goals. I love using pen and paper. Why do I make lists and not specific goals? I think part of it is fear of not achieving those goals. I also tend to over-analyze so I'll try to not get off topic here.

The last couple of weeks, I have worried that maybe I wasn't doing enough with Tori. Maybe she wasn't being pushed enough or that I wasn't working with her enough. There were times that she would ask a question, like how to read the number "173" and I would get so upset - how does she not know this already???

But today, it hit me just how far she's come. She's getting 10 out of 10 on all her spelling tests - and spelling wasn't her strong subject at the beginning of the year. It took a long time for her to learn how to read and spelling just didn't come naturally. Now she's reading more on her own and starting to remember how the letters go together.

Her math today was on comparing numbers. At first glance, I thought it'd be a piece of cake for her - just putting 4 numbers in order from least to greatest - like 203, 378, 410, and 821. Then I looked at a problem further down and it was a little more challenging - like 45, 54, 301, 310. I checked back a couple minutes later and she was getting them all right. So, she does understand place value. Whew.

I realized tonight that at the beginning of the year, I thought about what I wanted each of my kids to achieve this year. But I never wrote it down. I need to do that and look at the list every so often to remind myself of where we're going, to know what direction to take. I'm off to find a notebook now.

They're 'free!

For those of you who may not speak toddler, that's "three". Rachel and Owen celebrated their third birthday on Tuesday. The pictures are from their party last Saturday. I've accepted that I will never win "Mother of the Year" for birthday parties or cakes. It's usually a low-key family event with a regular cake. They carried the cake mix and frosting around after I bought them, knowing it was for them and feeling special so I'm okay with that.

Continuing with the John Deere theme from Christmas

Rachel is definitely all-girl

How can so much cuteness be in one picture?

The struggle for independence has already begun. I know I would not want them to stay babies forever but this in-between stage is hard. It's just easier sometimes to do things for them instead of letting them learn to do it for themselves. It takes patience to explain and wait for them and let them make mistakes. But that's how we learn, right?

I have been thinking about success lately and how we define it. Success is not always about prospering. It's not always about things turning out. Sometimes we succeed when we try something that fails and we realize how "not" to do it. As long as we learn from that mistake, then I think that's how we succeed. I know these things have been said before (really, there are very few original thoughts anymore) but sometimes you don't realize the truth of an idea until you've experienced it. Sometimes you feel like a failure but as you look back over your experience and realize how you've grown and matured and understand more now, you realize that the mistake wasn't worthless. That it's only worthless if you continue to beat yourself up over it and never move forward.

That might be a bit heavy for a three-year-old to understand. But it's good for me to remember as I let them slowly and painfully try to do things on their own and let them make mistakes.

Creating a new habit

I have successfully ran 3 times a week this year. I am finding that it works best if I run once during the weekend and then I only have to get up twice during the week. The treadmill is not as torturous as it used to be and I'm finding it easier to get out of bed. I'd love to see some tangible evidence that this is good for me but I do feel better and I like feeling muscles in my legs. Last year I didn't start running until mid-March and then was able to run 5 miles by the end of September. I'm excited to have a head start this year.

I firmly believe that I can double the distance I run on the treadmill if I run outside with a friend. That clock on the treadmill is my nemesis. I start out thinking, "I'll run 25 minutes today. I should be able to do that." After about 10 minutes and 100 times of looking at that darn clock, I start thinking, "You know, 10 minutes is better than nothing." Then I have to start playing mind games with myself and promise myself "just 5 more minutes" and then 5 minutes after that. Lucky for me, I'm easily fooled and keep believing my promises.