Wow, this blogging stuff is addicting. I have not gotten much done today and I will blame it on this. Yesterday was such a productive day that it makes today look twice as bad. It's fun to learn and figure out new things on this, though. Don't be surprised if it changes often in the next couple of weeks!
When we found out at our 20 week ultrasound in Oct. 2006 that we were having twins, we knew we'd be outgrowing our small home quickly. We had been thinking about moving for a couple of years already because of really small bedrooms and a really small bathroom but there was so much about our house we loved that we decided to wait it out. Then when we found out we were having another baby, we thought, "Okay, we can put Brendan and Tori in one room and the baby in another for a little while until we can buy a bigger place." So when we were told to prepare for 2 little ones instead of one, I immediately thought about moving. We were able to fit two cribs in the one room so the immediate need was solved. The problem is that finding time to fix up our house and look for another house is a little tricky with two toddlers.
We had hoped to have our house ready to list by the end of May but that came and went so quickly. Our new goal is mid-July. Yesterday I thought it was very feasible. Today, I'm not so sure. It is so easy to get overwhelmed and then wonder if anyone will want to buy and if there is a point to doing all this. We could make it work here if we had to. But we're ready for more space - both inside and out. We're both private people and would love to have more trees and land between us and the next house. I like our house - it's comfortable and it's not so big that it takes a long time to clean. I think God can use us here and teach us many things about contentment and creatively using space. I'm trying to balance between being grateful for what we have and wanting to fulfill the desires of my heart. And also a little worried that what I want won't be what I want after all. So with all of this uncertainty, I want to be okay with whatever happens. I'm not a "whatever" type of person. I'm a planner and someone who likes to know what is going to happen and when. Just ask Josh - almost every day he gets an email asking what time he's going to be home and heaven help him on the days he's late. I just need to know. So whenever I feel that anxiousness in the pit of my stomach, I try to take a deep breath and pray that I'll relax and just let it go. I imagine staying here longer and that's okay with me. I imagine moving into a bigger house with a couple acres, get excited, and I know that will be okay with me, too.
I've started packing up toys and games and extra things we don't really need to keep the house uncluttered and it's starting to not feel so small. Hmm, maybe the small house wasn't the problem after all.