Is blog-hopping an addiction or an illness? Either way, I have it. I love to go to my friends blogs and start looking at blogs off their lists and then looking at blogs off those lists until suddenly I have no idea how I got to where I am. Then I have to save the blog under favorites so I can find it again because I am fairly certain I won't be able to recreate the path that got me there.
Last night I found some great things while blog-hopping. The first was some blogs on saving money and using coupons. I used to do this a lot but haven't made the time recently. I'm going to try it again and see how it goes. I don't have a lot of time to shop and don't like running around to lots of stores so I'm still a little skeptical but also excited at the possibilities. I printed off a few coupons for Target tonight and it was thrilling to see the total go down from $45 to $36.
The second thing I found was the lyrics to this song, Stained Glass Masquerade, by Casting Crowns. I haven't really listened to their music much before but these lyrics just spoke to me. It's so hard to be real and honest and not give a pat answer and fake smile.
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong
So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the heart again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay
I know there have been so many times when I just didn't feel like going to church. I didn't feel like seeing people and watching everyone be so friendly and happy with each other. I didn't feel all happy inside and didn't want to fake it. I wanted to sit at home and wallow in it. But those are the times I should go. Those are the times I need to focus on God and what He has done for me so I can say, like Dave Ramsey says when someone asks him how he is, "Better than I deserve." I don't need to fake it but I need to change my perspective and my focus and singing praise songs and reading the Bible are the keys for me. Then I can be true and honest and share what I am going through while at the same time say, "Praise God, I'm doing better than I deserve."
I should have combined this with my last post - it's all about perspective. God, I'm trying to learn but I know You'll have to teach me over and over.